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Good Girls Don't eBook Patti Hawn

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"In Good Girls Don't , Patti Hawn brings aliveness, excitement and a mystical quality into a life fully lived. Coming from a family of creatives, she finds her voice in the written word with insights into self, loss, forgiveness and ultimately redemption."

Ronald Alexander Ph.D.

Good Girls Don't eBook Patti Hawn

Reviewed for CUB Communicator, [...]
For anyone who wants to understand the societal pressures, secrecy and shame that surrounds young, unwed mothers in the 1950's (and for several decades beyond that) this book should help their understanding of these times. Even in today's more sexually liberal world, there are societal pressures to give up your baby for adoption "for the good of everyone involved".
Patti Hawn's writing style is clear, honest and easy to read. She has the ability to speak in the voice of her persona at the time. For example, we clearly hear a teenager's voice when the author describes the night her mother was weighing, out loud, all the options for the pregnancy, including contacting a doctor in Baltimore who would be willing to perform an abortion. Ms. Hawn writes: "For a moment I wondered what I'd say if she asked me what I wanted to do. I thought it would be scary to have an abortion, but it would also be scary to go to Pittsburgh and live with Mom's cousin. It would be really scary to have a baby and give it to Mom to raise. What would the baby be? My little sister or brother? Or maybe I could just move somewhere far away and never see any of them again. Maybe I could move to New York and lose myself in a big cit, and live in an apartment by myself and keep the baby. Or Mom could send me money. Or I'd get a job typing. I guessed it would be better to go to Baltimore even if I died."
This book is different than many adoption memoirs because it goes beyond teenage pregnancy, relinquishment, search & reunion. It tells the life story of the author, and it's up to the reader to grasp the effects that these events have on her life.
This book is also different because it is a journey of relationships in the extended family and tells the impact the pregnancy and the relinquishment have on the nuclear and extended family, including the author's other two children. The book also shows how the family pulls together despite the persistent friction between mother and daughter.
It seems to me that Ms. Hawn stayed emotionally imature for many years. Despite her immaturity, Ms. Hawn had strength and determination to pursue one goal after another in the hopes of bettering her circumstances. Eventually, her time as a social worker, working in small clinics to help the most needy in America, and her experiences in Nepal helped her to mature.
By the time she reunites with her son when he is 40 years old, Ms. Hawn's maturity helps her to focus on her son's state of mind and his needs. She is able to accept the person her son has become and to be a mother to him.
Ms. Hawn's story dispels the myth, once again, that after you give up your baby, life will return to normal, and the baby will be better off with other people as its parents. Having a baby will change anyone's life. Having a baby and giving it up for adoption will change your life and that of your entire family in ways you may not understand for many years. Relinquishing your child is pivotal and life altering as we see played out in the choices Ms. Hawn made through multiple marriages, other children and career changes.
This is a good book for adult adoptees who want to learn about the birthmother experience without being emotionally overwhelmed. It is not quite as intense as many books are on this subject. Perhaps this book will help the adoptee to understand some of the pressures the birthmother was under to relinquish her child.
I enjoyed reading this book because I could relate to so much of what she went through as a teenage unwed mother. Reading about Ms. Hawn's interesting life was a bonus.
There is also a facebook page for the book. In the search box type: Good Girls Don't: a Memoir by Patti Hawn. Ms. Hawn is the older sister of film actress, Goldie Hawn.

Product details File Size 3485 KB Print Length 322 pages Page Numbers Source ISBN 1456364189 Publication Date February 16, 2011 Sold by  Digital Services LLC Language English ASIN B004O6MV6C

Tags : Good Girls Don't - Kindle edition by Patti Hawn. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Good Girls Don't.,ebook,Patti Hawn,Good Girls Don't,BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY Personal Memoirs,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Adoption & Fostering
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Good Girls Don't eBook Patti Hawn Reviews

Author and publicist, Patti Hawn has written a richly descriptive and engaging memoir called Good Girls Don't. It is about her experience as a teen mother, who was manipulated by conservative, middle-class society during the Baby Scoop Era to relinquish her son for adoption. The story follows her life path through careers and personal relationships which were significantly affected by this decision and the prevailing attitudes of the era. Her book was meaningful to me as an adoptee from the same era. My birth mother passed away, so reading about another first-mother from the same time in the past gives me insight as to what my biological mother might have lived through. Good Girls Don't takes the reader from eastern Maryland to sunny, Southern California, to Nepal, back to the United States as the author lives, learns and grows emotionally and spiritually while making decisions about her missing son. Additionally, Ms. Hawn has written this book in an inspirational and uplifting light with honesty and honor to her family.
The 1950's is touted as a time of joyful, uncomplicated innocence, but for a pregnant teenager - abandoned by her boyfriend - there was little joy and many complications. When Patti learned that she was "in a family way" she had no one to turn to but a mother who valued her hard-won social status above all else. After considering abortion, Mom decreed that her daughter go to another city, surrender her baby for adoption, and resume her childhood - pretending that nothing had happened.

Probably some young mothers did just that, but for Patti Hawn it wasn't that simple. Already battered by her parent's bitterly unhappy marriage and her boyfriend's cruelty, the trauma of giving birth in a "baby factory" surrounded by an indifferent staff left her scarred and desperate for love. Predictably, she soon fell for another smooth talker and gave birth to another son, one she hung onto. Her first marriage was short, but she later married a good man who helped her raise her child. It took some time, but she slowly came to forgive herself and to start becoming the woman she was always meant to be.

By the time she was middle-aged, she was living on the West Coast with her third husband and had developed a solid career as a publicist. The only thing that was missing - that had ALWAYS been missing - was the son she was forced to hand over to strangers. She started looking for him.

This is a beautiful book that goes deeply into the meaning of love and family. I read it over a year ago and have thought about it many times since. I hope she will write more.
In a crucial scene in Patti Hawn’s memoir Good Girls Don’t, pregnant, 15-year old Patti sits huddled in a car’s back seat as she is driven through the increasingly ominous neighborhood where her would-be abortionist is located. Before they arrive her mother decides instead to go ahead with Plan B. She decreed Patti would live out of town for the duration of her pregnancy, have the baby, immediately give it up for adoption, and never mention or think about this event again.

Easier said then done. Forty years later, Patti reunites with the son she kissed goodbye on the day of his birth. As she writes in her memoir, she never stopped loving him and longing to see him again.

Patti Hawn’s story is timely and universal because of the growing advocacy to make abortions illegal again. This generation’s young women could very well be at risk of having “back-alley” (the words we used in the 1950s) abortions or being forced to give up their babies after they are born.

I highly recommend Good Girls Don’t. The author’s memory doesn’t fail her as she writes the details of these life-changing events. Her writing is so intimate, descriptive, and raw I felt like I was right there with her, that she was personally telling her story to me.
Reviewed for CUB Communicator, [...]
For anyone who wants to understand the societal pressures, secrecy and shame that surrounds young, unwed mothers in the 1950's (and for several decades beyond that) this book should help their understanding of these times. Even in today's more sexually liberal world, there are societal pressures to give up your baby for adoption "for the good of everyone involved".
Patti Hawn's writing style is clear, honest and easy to read. She has the ability to speak in the voice of her persona at the time. For example, we clearly hear a teenager's voice when the author describes the night her mother was weighing, out loud, all the options for the pregnancy, including contacting a doctor in Baltimore who would be willing to perform an abortion. Ms. Hawn writes "For a moment I wondered what I'd say if she asked me what I wanted to do. I thought it would be scary to have an abortion, but it would also be scary to go to Pittsburgh and live with Mom's cousin. It would be really scary to have a baby and give it to Mom to raise. What would the baby be? My little sister or brother? Or maybe I could just move somewhere far away and never see any of them again. Maybe I could move to New York and lose myself in a big cit, and live in an apartment by myself and keep the baby. Or Mom could send me money. Or I'd get a job typing. I guessed it would be better to go to Baltimore even if I died."
This book is different than many adoption memoirs because it goes beyond teenage pregnancy, relinquishment, search & reunion. It tells the life story of the author, and it's up to the reader to grasp the effects that these events have on her life.
This book is also different because it is a journey of relationships in the extended family and tells the impact the pregnancy and the relinquishment have on the nuclear and extended family, including the author's other two children. The book also shows how the family pulls together despite the persistent friction between mother and daughter.
It seems to me that Ms. Hawn stayed emotionally imature for many years. Despite her immaturity, Ms. Hawn had strength and determination to pursue one goal after another in the hopes of bettering her circumstances. Eventually, her time as a social worker, working in small clinics to help the most needy in America, and her experiences in Nepal helped her to mature.
By the time she reunites with her son when he is 40 years old, Ms. Hawn's maturity helps her to focus on her son's state of mind and his needs. She is able to accept the person her son has become and to be a mother to him.
Ms. Hawn's story dispels the myth, once again, that after you give up your baby, life will return to normal, and the baby will be better off with other people as its parents. Having a baby will change anyone's life. Having a baby and giving it up for adoption will change your life and that of your entire family in ways you may not understand for many years. Relinquishing your child is pivotal and life altering as we see played out in the choices Ms. Hawn made through multiple marriages, other children and career changes.
This is a good book for adult adoptees who want to learn about the birthmother experience without being emotionally overwhelmed. It is not quite as intense as many books are on this subject. Perhaps this book will help the adoptee to understand some of the pressures the birthmother was under to relinquish her child.
I enjoyed reading this book because I could relate to so much of what she went through as a teenage unwed mother. Reading about Ms. Hawn's interesting life was a bonus.
There is also a facebook page for the book. In the search box type Good Girls Don't a Memoir by Patti Hawn. Ms. Hawn is the older sister of film actress, Goldie Hawn.